"We’ve been searching for so long! My mother told me to never give up."
Those words came through the phone, heavy with emotion, punctuated by choked-back sobs. A grandmother, who had spent nearly a decade trying to connect her granddaughter with the father she had never known, had just received confirmation—paternity results proving we had found him.For her, this was not just the end of a search—it was the end of years of heartbreak, uncertainty, and longing.
Just over four months prior, she reached out to me via Facebook Messenger. But the journey had begun for her more than nine years previously when she first had her granddaughter take an ancestry DNA test. What she didn't know was at the time, few Africans were testing, making it difficult to find immediate answers. But she never gave up. In 2017, after yet another heartbreaking conversation with her granddaughter, she turned to Facebook, posting that public plea for help.
Extracted text from Facebook Post by the Grandmother (May 27, 2017):
"I am using Facebook as my last resort to find my granddaughter’s father. I’ve been on this quest for about three years now, and I know my granddaughter really wants to meet her father."
"My granddaughter’s name is [Redacted for Privacy], and she is [Redacted for Privacy] years old. This has been a long journey for her so far."
"My daughter, [Redacted for Privacy], is from [Redacted for Privacy]. At the time of conception, she was [Redacted for Privacy] years old and was working at [Redacted for Privacy]."
"She doesn’t have a lot of information to pass on, as this was a short relationship—about three to four weeks."
"Here is what we know about the father: His name is [Redacted for Privacy], which is most likely a nickname or a shortened name. The last name is African and was hard to pronounce. She also only heard the name once or twice and is unable to remember it."
At the time, this post led nowhere.
A Desperate Reach for Help
By 2023, after years of searching with no results, the grandmother decided to try again. She reached out to me via Facebook Messenger, after noticing that I managed a family tree connected to one of her granddaughter’s distant DNA matches.
"Hi, Samantha."
"[Item Redacted for Privacy], an admin, suggested that I private message you. I had made a post in [Item Redacted for Privacy] about trying to find my granddaughter’s birth father (BF)."
"She has only two DNA matches—one at 66 centimorgans (cM) and another at 41 centimorgans (cM). This year, she received a third match, estimated to be anywhere from a 5th cousin to as distant as an 8th cousin, possibly even beyond. The match is with [Item Redacted for Privacy], who has a family tree containing more than [Item Redacted for Privacy] individuals. You are listed as the manager of this tree."
"Her BF is likely from around the Congo, Nigeria, or maybe Somalia. Initially, her DNA ethnicity report said 48% Bantu, but it has since changed to Nilotic people."
"She desperately wants to find out who her father is and learn about her heritage."
"If you’d like to search my name in [Item Redacted for Privacy], I have posts in [Item Redacted for Privacy] and another group. This will explain anything missing!"
She had no idea that this message would be the turning point in her search.
How DNA and Community Connections Led to the Father
Once the grandmother connected with me, I leveraged my knowledge of genetic genealogy and my ties within the South Sudanese community to uncover and confirm the identity of her granddaughter’s father. At first, the 5th-8th cousin DNA match that led the grandmother to me was not helpful for identifying the father. In fact, to this day, we still don’t know exactly how that person connects to the family because the match is just too distant.
The real breakthroughs came when we focused on two closer DNA matches:
- The 66 cM match (which, once uploaded to a better platform, was actually 170 cM).
- Another match, slightly more distant than 170 cM, but much closer than the 5th-8th cousin match.
We quickly realized that none of us knew who the 66 cM match was.
- The grandmother had messaged him.
- I had messaged him.
- Another South Sudanese DNA match had messaged him.
- No one got a response.
Even worse, his name didn’t lead to any helpful information—a common challenge in the South Sudanese community, where people often westernize their names, making it harder to track them through traditional records.
The turning point came when I casually mentioned his name to someone in the South Sudanese community.
"I think I know who that person is," they said. "Here’s who you should talk to."
Because I had been part of the South Sudanese community for 25 years, I was able to approach the right person with the right questions.
That’s when we learned:
- The 66 cM match was actually a man whose teenage daughter had bought him an AncestryDNA test out of curiosity.
- She had registered the test for him, but he had never logged in.
- His DNA results sat in the system, untouched, for years—until now.
Once we identified the ancestral family group, we spoke with another family member and provided details:
- The nickname the father went by.
- The region where he had lived.
- The basic details the mother remembered.
That conversation led us directly to the father.
The Confirmation
After speaking with him and confirming all the details, the final step was the DNA paternity test.
DNA Paternity Test Report:
"Case Number: [Redacted for Privacy]"
"Please find enclosed the results of the DNA paternity test requested."
- Child: [Redacted for Privacy]
- Alleged Father: [Redacted for Privacy]
"The probability of paternity is greater than 99.9999%, compared to an untested, unrelated, random man of the Black population."
The grandmother’s journey had finally reached its end.
Until then, I’ll keep searching.
Collecting Kin
🔗 www.collectingkin.com
Why More Africans Should Test
Many Africans I’ve spoken to say they don’t need to take a DNA test because they already know their ethnic group and ancestors. But DNA testing isn’t just about personal discovery—it’s about helping others uncover lost connections.
Every test taken strengthens the database, making it easier for those searching for family to find their answers.
Even for those who feel certain about their roots, DNA can reveal unexpected connections—links to other African groups, lost migration paths, or even ties to other continents. Through my work with South Sudanese DNA testing, we’ve identified surprising matches in Uganda, Greece, Iran, and even Saudi Arabia.
These connections point to complex histories—some involving forced migration from the Arab slave trade, others revealing ancestral movement due to marriage, displacement, or natural migration.
We also often forget that family memory tends to focus on patriarchal ancestry. Many African and other communities in the world trace lineage through fathers, grandfathers, and great-grandfathers—overlooking the women who married into these families from different regions.
DNA testing gives these maternal ancestors their rightful place in history, revealing the full picture of where we come from.
If you think you don’t need to test, reconsider.
Your DNA may hold the key to answers that someone has been desperately waiting for. And you may even uncover chapters of your own history that you never expected.
Don’t wait. Someone out there may be searching for a connection that only your DNA can provide.
The Power of DNA
This technology is revolutionary. Just as smartphones changed how we communicate, consumer DNA testing has transformed family research. I’ve identified family members for people who never tested themselves—simply by reverse-engineering their tree through DNA matches. The process works.
For this grandmother, the journey for answers has finally ended. But for her granddaughter, a new journey begins. She now has the chance to build a relationship with her father and embrace an entire community that welcomes her with open arms.
💡 If you’ve ever wondered whether your DNA test could help someone else, the answer is yes. Don’t wait. Someone may be searching for you right now.
This technology is revolutionary. Just as smartphones changed how we communicate, consumer DNA testing has transformed family research. I’ve identified family members for people who never tested themselves—simply by reverse-engineering their tree through DNA matches. The process works.
For this grandmother, the journey for answers has finally ended. But for her granddaughter, a new journey begins. She now has the chance to build a relationship with her father and embrace an entire community that welcomes her with open arms.
💡 If you’ve ever wondered whether your DNA test could help someone else, the answer is yes. Don’t wait. Someone may be searching for you right now.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
What type of test did they take?
They began with an AncestryDNA test from Ancestry.com. The results became clearer after uploading the raw DNA data to other platforms for better analysis.
Why did it take so long to find the father?
When they first tested in 2014, very few Africans were in the DNA databases. Over time, more people tested, better tools became available, and key matches emerged. A key breakthrough came when we compared DNA on multiple platforms, revealing a much stronger biological connection than what Ancestry’s algorithm initially suggested.
But beyond DNA, this case required community trust, cultural knowledge, and persistence in following every lead.
How was the father ultimately found?
By triangulating two closer DNA matches, identifying a known ancestral family, and cross-referencing personal details provided by the grandmother.
We also had to speak to other family members to piece identify a likely candidate. Once contacted, the father was receptive and took an expedited paternity test, which confirmed the relationship within a week.
What should someone do if they want to take a test?
Start with one of the major testing companies:
- AncestryDNA (which has the largest database)
- 23andMe (which has the most test takers of full African descent)
- MyHeritageDNA
- FamilyTreeDNA
To save money, choose to test at only one or two sites. If you have to pick one, pick ancestry.com (AncestryDNA) as they have the largest database. Then, upload your raw DNA data to additional platforms like FamilyTreeDNA, MyHeritageDNA, GEDmatch to expand your pool of matches.
Can DNA tests really help people reconnect with lost family?
Absolutely. DNA testing is one of the most powerful tools available for discovering biological relatives—even across continents. Many assume they already know their ancestry, but testing often reveals hidden chapters of their family history.
What do you mean by hidden chapters?
Because I am part of the South Sudanese community—through my husband and children—I manage several South Sudanese DNA tests. Through these tests, we’ve uncovered unexpected connections to Uganda, Greece, Iran, and even Saudi Arabia. These links highlight deeper historical patterns—some pointing to forced migration due to the Arab slave trade, while others reflect natural movement through marriage and general migration.
Many South Sudanese families, like others across Africa, may have had ancestors, and siblings or cousins of those ancestors taken or caught up in historical migration events and displaced due to war. These DNA connections are filling in missing pieces of South Sudanese history, revealing stories that were lost through displacement, war, migration, or even enslavement.
This is why testing is so important—not just for personal discovery, but for uncovering broader histories that entire communities may have forgotten or never fully understood.
Why should someone test even if they aren’t searching for family?
Because you might be the key to someone else’s answers. Every test strengthens the database, helping others piece together their own stories. Even those who believe they know their ancestry may find surprises—connections to unexpected regions, migrations they never considered, or distant relatives in places they never imagined.
Another overlooked factor is patriarchal bias in family memory. Many African and African American communities trace descent through male ancestors, focusing on great-grandfathers and paternal lineage. But we often forget the women—great-grandmothers, grandmothers, and mothers—who married into families from different regions, carrying their own unique ancestry. Their DNA tells a story too.
What should someone do if they want to take a test?
Start with one of the major testing companies—AncestryDNA, 23andMe, MyHeritageDNA, or FamilyTreeDNA. Then, upload the raw DNA data to additional platforms like GEDmatch and FamilyTreeDNA to expand your potential matches.
If you’ve ever thought about testing, don’t wait. Someone out there may be searching for a connection that only your DNA can provide. And you may uncover parts of your own history that you never knew existed.
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